as lie there, my body throbs and pulses like a fast-moving tide.
and i'm losing it.
the best i can do is breathe slowly, try to silence that pounding that is my heart beat.
so i take deep breaths. i close my eyes and will my heart to slow,
slow,
slow. until the rate has decreased to near deceased.
but i pulse still. my whole body is throbbing like a vein in a tourniquit-wrapped arm.

and then it hits me.
i'm feeling my blood pressure. my pulse is making my eyes pound and my head throb and everything in my body beat in time with it. like the distant, irregular rhythm of some ancient pulsar.
and i vomit. i vomit until all that's left is the pungent, bitter smell of stomach acid radiating off of the immaculate porcelaine.

i don't know. the idea of feeling my blood moving throughout my body in tandem made me sick.

i think i'm done with drugs for a while.